TEA TIME WITH A CHILD - A TEA TO REMEMBER

 By Patricia Roberts
Coffee Tea & Thee    http://www.he-and-she.com 

Patricia Roberts is the owner of Coffee Tea & Thee - Fine china, tea and tea accessories. Everything for your tea table or tea party!

It is often very difficult to have a conversation with our children when they are so used to giving one or two word answers. "How was school today?" "Fine". Often they take our interest in their lives as just trying to flex our parental muscles. To counteract this impression we need to create a special occasion.

When my daughter was a pre-teen, she would come home obviously depressed from something that had taken place that day in school. I would attempt to get her to talk about it but it never seemed to work. I started setting up "tea time", as we had enjoyed when she was little, and she soon felt free enough to tell me what was wrong. There were even times as a teenager that she would suggest tea time before I had sensed her need for one.  In this setting they will feel more on an equal basis with you, rather than as a parent and child. Our tea times let me deeper into her life where I could then offer help and encouragement.

Start making "tea time" an occasional event with your child regardless of their age. Plan separate tea times for each of your children. Have the supplies you need for "tea time" always on hand for quick setup when you feel your child needs a little extra support.

Planning your First Tea Time

Create an invitation from an appropriate blank greeting card and mail it to them. Actually putting it in the mail to them will add formality to the invitation. The wording can be something like: "The honor of your presence is requested",  followed by the date and time.

Select the tea according to your 'guest'. A young child may be better suited to tea made with apple juice instead of water. A teen might go for something with an unusual name (Earl Grey tea can become any name you need from their current lingo).

The following list of items you will need is a guideline for a formal tea time. You should feel free to make them less formal if you feel your child would be more comfortable, but remember that the intent is to make them feel special. Drinking from a china tea cup may be a new experience for them, but inside they will feel special and look forward to the next tea invitation, even if they won't admit it.

         tea cup and saucer
         dessert plate
         silverware
         napkin

         For your table you will need:  

         tea pot
         sugar bowl
         creamer
         bowl if using lemon wedges
         serving silverware
         tablecloth
         serving dishes for foods
         centerpiece or other table decoration

Make your 'tea time' a time for just the two of you to converse, easily and without pressure. (I would also suggest turning off the phone.) Give them your full attention when they talk and full eye contact. Begin a conversation with questions not directly related to them and slowly move into more personalized questions. Don't expect your first attempt to open the flood gates, though it just might. As you have more tea times, they will begin to feel more comfortable. It is about making them feel special, safe and secure.  When we create a special moment for ourselves and someone we love it lasts well beyond the moments it took to create.

By Patricia Roberts
Coffee Tea & Thee   http://www.he-and-she.com 

Patricia Roberts is the owner of Coffee Tea & Thee - Fine china, tea and tea accessories. Everything for your tea table or tea party!